I realised clearly last night that one can never know another completely and really it's not necessary. We want to in order to elevate our status and standing with another, our importance to another- but there is no need.The closest person to me, my son, who i carried in this body and held as he took his first breath and fed on milk from this body and nurture carefully, daily is still operating independently from me. He's not really 'mine'-no one is ever anybody's. The love between us is perhaps the strongest, most intensely felt-constantly flowing in both directions but there is so much about him i'll never know and don't need to know.
All in need to do is love him and that just happens, it's just there. In that love i'll see him, watch, sense, feel and enjoy the essence of him, know his nature-let our true nature communicate and dance freely. I say,'my boy' because he looks like me, he has my genes, he is of this body but I don't own him, there is no ownership. This I understand clearly. I am a parent, a mother and I see what that means.
He had a whole world going on last night in his room, when he was meant to be asleep, that was nothing to do with me. He changed his bed clothes to another set of clothes, changed his bedtime story on his CD player to something else, emptied his wardrobe, ransacked his room and set up little displays of toys. He didn't want to sleep, he was on a mission that only he could understand and I let him do it.
As I changed his clothes back and removed his crocs and put him back into bed at 10.45 when he had exhausted himself, I saw that all I can ever do completely is love him.
