the guilt has gone-evaporated. the experience of the past week showed me that there is no reason to have guilt. I did what i knew to be the best thing for all of us. there was a lot of pain-it caused a lot of pain but that pain isn't as it was a couple of years ago-there may still be some pain but it's not all associated with our splitting up as a family.

Gary told me how i was. and there is truth in that. but it is how i was-not how or who I am. Now it is seen, acknowledged, allowed, i think the pattern of behaviour will be weak, no more powerful or long lasting as an echo. For sure, i admire people, their qualities, their talents-i love them and let them know that and the time spent with others will have an intensity but no longer will i translate or interpret that as anything more than it is. Thank you gary-for pointing that out. It's very clear. there is no need to do that anymore. It is not who i am. I do express the feelings that i have towards others , i enjoy to do that-i feel that i want to share that-i suppose i have such enthusiasm when i come across, certain traits, talents, expressions of life and understanding-i love to love that in others and in things . I can't help but fall for it-and why should i not fall for it? that is personality -this personality.